there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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