This is not my ceiling
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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