so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You may now shotgun with the bride
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
