The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My pussy is not your playground.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
