I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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