i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize