I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
