If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
