you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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