Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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