so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
