): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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