he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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