whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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