I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
