I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize