My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
