Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
