every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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