He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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