...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
