come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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