I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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