I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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