i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
