Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
