I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
