...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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