the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
