been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
