Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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