I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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