i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
