I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Girls should come with a carfax report
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
