Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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