pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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