She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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