meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize