Texts From Last Night

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  (559): View more from California

  my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.

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  (559): my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment. http://tfl.nu/sp0b
  Replies (20) Good night (3670) Bad night (751)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"

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  (717): one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9" http://tfl.nu/v0g1
  Replies (52) Good night (4404) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely

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  (423): Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely http://tfl.nu/wliv
  Replies (37) Good night (469) Bad night (4074) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  wtf, did you fuck a retard?!

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  (860): he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape (617): wtf, did you fuck a retard?! http://tfl.nu/q1iv
  Replies (11) Good night (773) Bad night (4040)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.

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  (863): I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy. http://tfl.nu/ar0z
  Replies (21) Good night (4477) Bad night (1700) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face

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  (305): its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face http://tfl.nu/dxi4
  Replies (23) Good night (3588) Bad night (1602) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.

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  (262): Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour. http://tfl.nu/rkpz
  Replies (5) Good night (2437) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.

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  (906): it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something. http://tfl.nu/su0x
  Replies (3) Good night (1038) Bad night (871) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.

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  (701): Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual. http://tfl.nu/sj3h
  Replies (6) Good night (1665) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.

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  (416): I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job. http://tfl.nu/hsaj
  Replies (3) Good night (510) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us

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  (416): no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us http://tfl.nu/s0m4
  Replies (8) Good night (1976) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.

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  (540): A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough. http://tfl.nu/m6k2
  Replies (3) Good night (1218) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".

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  (916): Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles". http://tfl.nu/t7tu
  Replies (4) Good night (906) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.

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  (406): Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip. http://tfl.nu/5qjy
  Replies (6) Good night (819) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.

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  (850): I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm. http://tfl.nu/9wk9
  Replies (2) Good night (398) Bad night (159) Order T-Shirt

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