when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
only you would photoshop your dick
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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