Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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