I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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