I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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