wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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