So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
