I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
