Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The air was thick with penises
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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