Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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