Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
