Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We were destined to go to rehab together
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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