Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I could fuck to npr.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
