Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
