what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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