I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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