tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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