I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
