I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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