i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
