I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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