8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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