She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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