You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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