3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
