Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Dear god my vagina.
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