So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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