Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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