I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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